Make room for error

the-know-it-allA ‘know it all’ will drive us crazy.  I know, because sometimes I act like I am one and I drive MYSELF crazy.  I constantly have to tell my brain- slow that shit down, you could be wrong here.

I think, we all start off as ‘know it all’s’.  Well, at least when we hit the ‘full of shit and vinegar’ teen years (that was my mom’s saying and somehow it stuck).  My son used to make stuff up all the time and when I questioned him, his response was always, “I read it on the internet”, of course when I asked him which site, he always forgot.  The real truth is, it SOUNDED like a real thing so he went with it.  And claimed it to be fact, truth, the real deal.  Many things happen this way, hence why we sometimes run in circles and many times end up frustrated.

An example of this happened during Thanksgiving.  My parents drove up the Central Coast to meet us at my son’s house for Thanksgiving and had my oldest ‘know it all’ teenage daughter with her.  Whom was running the GPS from her phone.  They came to a junction at the 46 and my mom, who was driving, said, “I think we need to turn left here”, to which my daughter said, “no grandma we keep going for another 174 miles”.  “I am certain we need to turn left here”says my mom,.. “NO, I am telling you, we need to keep going”.

So.  They did.  My mom was right to question herself as my daughter had been to my son’s house once already, so perhaps she knew differently.

She didn’t.

Their 5 hour drive ended up taking 10 hours.  10 hours of going off the path, back on the path, turning around, trying another route, backing up…all to turn back down to the 46 and go the way they were supposed to go originally.

The lesson here is, we can be wrong sometimes even if we are so sure we are right.  When my mom felt they needed to turn, my daughter could have said, I am pretty sure we don’t, but let’s call my mom or double check it.  DONE.  They would have turned, and been wine-glass-in-hand within two hours.

Have you done this?  Been so adamant about being right, just to find out you weren’t?  Why are we so determined to be right about every thought or experience we have?  My husband is also a victim of this.  I tease him mercilessly about it every time it happens (love you honey).

LISTEN TO ME:

It is OK to be wrong.  Or unsure.  IT IS OK.  It doesn’t mean you are stupid.  Or inadequate.  Or less than.

A human reaction is to want to be a resource, to know, to be able to provide the knowledge, help, information, and somehow we feel less than if we don’t.

Don’t do that.

You are MORE when you admit you are not sure, or concede you might be wrong.  It is WORSE to be so adamant of your being correct, and then being wrong. Try simply saying,

“I think this to be true, but we may find out differently”.

It’s called humbleness by the way.

I could totally be wrong here though.

xoxo

 

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